Can We Say All Things With Love?
1. All things can be said with – LOVE!
2. All things said in a love relationship are better said with – LOVE!
3. All things said in times of trouble and anguish are probably better said with – LOVE!
4. All things you have yet to say may be better said with – LOVE!
5. All things you say today may be more effectively said with the looks and sounds of – LOVE!
6. All things said to join us or and improve us are well said with terms of endearment, loving nicknames, compliments, praises, thank you’s and loving touches all of which can help make your message a message of – LOVE!
7. All things said may work to distance us from one another or destroy us as a relationship if they are said without – LOVE!
8. All things to say; disagreements, anger, disappointments, pleas, desires, challenges, intimacies, compliments, praises, thanks, affirmations, humor, facts, and truth of all types are likely better said with – LOVE!
9. All things needing to be said with power are likely more empowered when said with – LOVE!
10. All things said in a love relationship can work to improve the love relationship if they are said with – LOVE!
11. All things that are tough to say and yet need to be said can be better said with – LOVE!
12. All things mundane, ordinary, blah and boring yet needing to be said are far better said with – LOVE!
Say It with Love – maybe?
Here is a concept for you to ponder, explore and perhaps use to improve your love relationships. In a love relationship the more things you say with love the more you help the love relationship thrive. Of course there’s a corollary. Perhaps the more things you say in a love relationship without love the more you may be acting to harm or at least not nurture that love relationship. So, one question to ask yourself is “How much of what you say in your love relationship is said with love and how much is said without love?” Another question is “Just how can one say things with love?”
To say things with love the first thing to consider is your tones of voice. When you speak to a loved one are your tones being interpreted as angry, disinterested, controlling, uncaring, demeaning, boring, or what? Your tones of voice, according to some communication experts, can be as much as 35% of your message no matter what your words are. Tones of voice which convey happiness, delight, care, empathy, tenderness, positive regard, kind concern, pride in or enthusiasm for a loved one, and the like, can all help to convey love.
The next thing to think about is your facial expressions. Sweet smiles, joyous smiles, emotionally intimate smiles, but not gloating or vengeful smiles can all convey love. Tender caring looks, empathetic facial expressions, and facial expressions that show you are in tune with the emotions of a loved one can all be very important to making your statements ones that include love.
Some research suggests that in a personal face-to-face communication facial expressions, gestures and postures, may convey as much as 55% of your interpreted message. Now we must think about what your hands, arms and body movements are communicating. Open arms can be welcoming while folded arms may be sending a message of rejection. Leaning forward can show positive interest while leaning backward may convey distancing. Nervous hands and feet can be interpreted as sending a message of disinterest. Certain leg movements are sometimes seen as trying to subtly send sexual messages. Nodding and tilting the head tend to be seen as showing interest and agreeableness while looking off into space or reading while talking may convey an uncaring attitude. So, what do you think your body movements, gestures and so forth are usually saying to your loved ones? Are they saying and sending the messages of love you feel for your loved ones?
Now we get around to what your words are saying. Are you using words that indicate love? Do you include terms of endearment when you talk to the people you love. Sweetheart, Darling, Honey and the like can be added to almost any statement. There can be a great deal of difference between “Pass me the salt” and “Pass me the salt, Sweetheart”. Along with terms of endearment come special loving nicknames and informal honorifics like “Buddeo”,“Champ”, “Special One ”, “Bright Spot”, etc. It’s important to make sure that nicknames are not interpreted as demeaning or put downs. I know a girl who loves her father to call her “Bubble Butt” but I doubt if that’s a good one for others to use.
Words of politeness can also be of help in sending a message that contains love, so long as they are sufficiently personal and not formal sounding. Praises, compliments and thank you statements often are really good ways to send love verbally. Then of course there are the “I love you, luv you, loving you, more love soon, love love love, I love you soooo much”, and many other ways of using the word love to send your message of love. So, please ask yourself can you and will you use all of this to powerfully and frequently “Say it with love”?
As always – Go and Grow with Love
Dr. J Richard Cookerly
Image credits: kaleidoscope image by Flickr user charmainezoe (Jelene Morris).