A Love Can Be Affectionate
I show love affectionately 1. Badly 2. Poorly 3. Fairly well 4. Very well.
B Love Can Be Beneficial
I act to benefit those I love 1. Rarely 2. Seldom 3. Often 4. Quite frequently
C Love Can Be Caring
I show I care to those I love 1. Ineptly 2. Tolerably well 3. Quite well 4. Very well.
D Love Can Be a Delight
I obviously delight in those I love 1. Rarely 2. Seldom 3. Often 4. Quite frequently.
E Love Can Be Enriching
I realize the enrichment of other’s love 1. Rarely 2. Seldom 3. Often 4. Quite frequently
F Love Can Be Fun
I do ‘fun love’ 1. Rarely 2. Seldom 3. Often 4. Quite frequently
G Love Can Be Giving
I express love through giving 1. Deficiently 2. Mediocre 3. Moderately well 4 Quite well
H Love Can Be Helpful
I am helpful to those I love 1. Rarely 2. Seldom 3. Often 4. Quite frequently
I Love Can Be Intimate
Emotional intimacy for me is 1. Laborious 2. Difficult 3. Pleasurable 4. Superb
J Love Can Be Joyful
I experience the joy of love 1. Deficiently 2. Mildly 3. Strongly 4. Powerfully
K Love Can Be Kind
I show loving kindness 1. Rarely 2. Seldom 3. Often 4. Quite frequently.
L Love Can Be Liberating
I feel love’ s liberating influence 1. Rarely 2. Seldom 3. Often 4. Quite frequently
M Love Can Be Merciful
I give merciful love 1. With great difficulty 2 reluctantly 3. Easily 4. Abundantly
N Love Can Be Nurturing
I nurture others with love 1. Poorly 2 Tolerably well 3. Moderately well 4. Very well
O Love Can Be Observant
I observe those I love 1. Inadequately 2. Sporadically 3. Carefully 4. Expertly
P Love Can Be Powerful
I exhibit powerful love 1. Sparsely 2. Tenuously 3. Commonly 4. Marvelously
Q Love Can Be Questing
Via love I quest for growth and improvement 1. Passively 2. Modestly 3.Enthusiastically 4. Passionately
R Love Can Be Receptive
I receive love 1. Badly 2. Poorly 3. Fairly well 4. Extremely well
S Love Can Be Sexual
I mix love and sexuality 1. Almost never 2 Incompetently 3. Well 4. Superbly
T Love Can Be Tender
I give tender love 1. Awkwardly 2. Clumsily 3. Tolerably well 4. Expertly
U Love Can Be Unconditional
At offering unconditional love I am 1. At a loss 2. Reluctant 3. Liberal 4. Generous
V Love Can Be Victorious
I strive to win with love 1. Never 2. Infrequently 3. Frequently 4. Consistently
W Love Can Be Willing
I give my willingness to those I love 1. Miserly 2 Sporadically 3. Freely 4. Joyously
X Love Can Be Xenial. (Hospitable)
With those I love I am xenial 1. With resistance 2. Dutifully 3. Pleasantly 4. Happily
Y Love Can Be Yielding
I yield to those I love 1. With anger 2. With resentment 3. With acceptance 4. With ease
Z Love Can Be Zestful
I zestfully join with those I love 1. Hardly ever 2. Not often enough 3. Fairly often 4. Quite often
The number corresponding to your response on each question is your Score for each sentence. If you chose a number ‘1.’ response your score is one. If your answer was a ‘2.’ response your score is 2 on that item, and so forth. Add up all your ‘1.’ responses, ‘2.’ responses, ‘3.’ responses and ‘4.’ responses; then add them all together for your TOTAL Score. Do not add your zero (don’t know & not sure) responses. Now, use the following scale to interpret your score.
Scores zero – 26 suggest you may not know enough about yourself and healthy, real love, how it’s done and how to evaluate yourself in relationship to healthy, real love. A lack of love knowledge may lead to love failure. Considerable study of love, therefore, is recommended, perhaps coupled with developing your introspection skills.
Scores 27 – 52 suggest you may not have given love and how to do it well and successfully anywhere near enough attention and, therefore, love failures may be all too likely in your life. Lots of study of the behaviors that convey love (See “An Behavioral (Operational) Definition of Love”) and those that help love grow and develop, followed by practicing what you learn is recommended for your consideration.
Scores 53 – 78 suggest you are doing the actions that lead, at least, to a fairly successful chance at succeeding at love, and that it will be wise for you to study and learn more of the skills, techniques and ways of healthy, real love.
Scores 79 – 104 suggest you have a well above average understanding of how to grow and develop a healthy love relationship or that you are giving yourself too much credit and may be in denial about how much you need to learn.
It is useful to go back and study your lowest scores on each of the above sentences, thinking of them as possible areas you might do well to make improvements in. Studying your highest scores may tell you something about your strengths concerning healthy, real love. Developing your strengths even further as you also strengthen the weakest areas is considered a rather good strategy.
The Alphabet Love Test also may provide a good exercise for a couple to do together, and it also can be used by families and friends.
The Alphabet Love Test is just one of many ways to get a bit clearer and more well-informed about yourself and your healthy, real love strengths and weaknesses. It is not to be considered a definitive instrument as it only has what is called face validity. It, however, may provide a rather good stimulus for thinking about love and factors that have to do with love in their many, rich and varied forms.
As always – Go and Grow with Love
Dr. J Richard Cookerly
Do you consider yourself to be a student of love, or do you mostly let love and your love relationships be a matter of luck and whatever you learned growing up? Which is your guess as to which of these approaches gets the better results and which does not?
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