This mini-love-lesson starts with some essential questions; then goes on to consciousness readiness versus subconscious readiness; willingness for readiness; 12 important willingness for readiness questions; the issue of willingness to be willing; more.
Essential QuestionsDo you know what it takes to be ready for love, for new love, for better love, for a lasting love, for love adventures, for ever-growing love, for truly strong love, for the love that surmounts horrendous difficulty, for great and wondrous love and for love life success in all forms of real love? Lots of people feel ready for love but in many ways they may not be at all truly ready. So you may be asking how do you get ready for love? Well, for that read further.
Conscious Readiness Versus Subconscious ReadinessSome people’s subconscious minds seem to know they’re not really ready for love, so, quite effectively they subconsciously dodge love or new love opportunities. Some people seem to know they do not have enough healthy, real self-love, or love knowledge or love skills to get and maintain a healthy love relationship like they might want. This can lead to trying to do a sort of junior grade love relationship with people who just won’t do for what is really wanted.
A large number of people who have been seriously hurt in a love relationship may be very love-hungry but, nevertheless, their subconscious will not allow them to go after love successfully. That can be because the subconscious knows they are not strong enough to deal with or survive another huge love loss or painful love failure. Many people’s subconscious seems to know or sense that a new love relationship is a risky relationship.
Subconscious, protective mechanisms seem to be able to keep some people from trying for love success, even though they are in a state of love-starvation which is damaging their health and well-being. This, in particular, often is a time for growing healthy, self-love and the inner strength that comes with it. It is important that both your conscious and subconscious know that love may require long, hard work on the development of your love relationship skills. Without that you may not be ready for the love you want.
Sometimes it is the conscious mind that has decided love relationship attempts have just been too painful, and so they are not to be attempted again. However, your subconscious may decide just the opposite. The subconscious may cause you to go looking for love possibilities in all sorts of ways you might not be consciously, fully aware of.
Many have proclaimed, “I’m not looking for love” but they dress just a bit more sexy, choose to go to places where opportunities may exist, and in those places they gravitate and flirt with the more likely candidates for a love relationship. Then there are all the people who have bought into the myth that love comes to you when you’re not looking for it, so they pretend to themselves that they are not looking but they really are, consciously or subconsciously.
A host of people seem to want the love they have to improve, but they are not preparing themselves for going after the improvements they desire. Subconsciously or semi-consciously they may think all love is accomplished by luck, or by the will of a deity, or by magic. Others think they are not worthy of the love they want, so they do nothing to ready themselves and or to actively seek what they desire.
Like so many things in life, your chances of succeeding at love are greatly enhanced by knowledge and practice. Luck or heavenly intervention may play a role in who you meet but what you do with them after that is best accomplished by those who have readied themselves with love, skills development.
To really be ready for love, it is useful for both your conscious and subconscious minds to be ‘on the same page’, cooperating with each other.
Willingness For ReadinessWillingness can be regarded as the first, major factor in being ready for love. Without willingness love-readiness is unlikely to be achieved. Love-readiness means you have acquired the minimum, necessary, love knowledge and have done sufficient practice with that knowledge to make you at least tolerably skilled at giving, receiving and living your love.
If you really want to succeed at love ask yourself, are you truly willing to do what it may take? To help you figure that out, examine yourself in regard to the following dozen questions about love willingness.
Do you have: 1. Willingness to do the work of learning to love well?
2. Willingness to do the work of practicing loving well, often?
3. Willingness to do the work of unlearning unloving, anti-loving and counter-loving, negative ways of thinking and feeling, and unlearning the negative behaviors that go with them?
4. Willingness to risk failure and experience hurt (not letting fear or safety have primary importance)?
5. Willingness to learn and practice healthy self-love?
7. Willingness to explore and experiment with new ways of doing love relating?
8. Willingness to be open and vulnerable in the process of getting and giving love?
9. Willingness to choose and use the power of love over all other forms of power?
10. Willingness to be transformed by love (because that is what happens) into an ever-growing, better self and, therefore, possibly becoming a rather different self than you find yourself to be now?
11. Willingness to let real love heal you, and to use real love to heal you of your old, love relationship wounds and, therefore, to give up whatever advantages and unhealthy, behavior systems your wounds may empower?
12. Willingness to let love deeply connect you with others, with life, with nature, with spirituality and with other love forces in the universe?
Hopefully you are willing to closely and seriously examine your ‘love willingness’ by way of the 12 questions just listed. Some of them may take some study. So, are you willing to give these willingness questions due attention?
How Big Do You Want Your Love Success To Be?If you want big love success you probably have to have big willingness to do what it takes to achieve big love readiness. With high willingness and high readiness you much more effectively can go after big love success. If love success is not all that important to you consciously (even though it may be vitally important to you at the natural level) you probably don’t have to have much willingness or readiness.
Much like athletes or performance artists, you have to be willing to get yourself very ready for opportunities, and then when those opportunities come along you really can do well with them because you’ve acquired the readiness of knowledge and practice. Without that readiness, big success is much less likely.
Willingness to Be WillingAs you can see from examining the dozen items above, full readiness for love may involve a good many different things. For lots of people love relationships are the biggest and most important things they are ever involved in. Willingness to do what it takes to do love well is essential for achieving true, love success in life.
Lots of people fail at love relationships, be those relationships with a lover, a parent, a child, a family, a friend, with oneself, with spiritually, or with life itself or any of its major involvements. One of the highly important factors to consider when looking at love failures and love success is willingness to ready oneself by gathering knowledge and practicing what one learns. So, are you truly and sufficiently ‘willing to be willing’ in all the ways that may be necessary for your own love success?
Hopefully your answer is YES because in my personal and professional opinion it is worth all the effort, all the necessary development and all the practice for the rewards of a loving and love-filled life!
As always – Go and Grow with Love
Dr. J. Richard Cookerly
♥ Love Success Question If really good love success takes readying yourself with acquiring knowledge about how to do love well, and lots of love-skills practice, are you really willing to do all that?