Mini-Love-Lesson # 285
Synopsis: The often overlooked way of giving love via receiving love well is presented along with 7 ways to carry it out; plus how to internalize, enjoy and benefit more from the love that comes your way.
Receiving love well is an act of giving love well! Receptional love behaviors are those which, by act or word, demonstrate a positive reception of any of the other major ways of directly communicating love.
Integrating Receptional Love into the seven, major ways of giving love is the key to cycling love. Without reception, love behaviors do not do the good that they might. What a waste!
Suppose a simple, sincere statement like “I love you” comes your way. What is your Expressional Love receiving-response? Does your face light up in a great big smile or a cute little grin? Are your tones of voice upbeat and appreciative. Does your body language communicate elation and pleasure? What is your Touch Love receiving-response? Do you tenderly hold their hand or give them a big bear hug, or a sweet kiss on the forehead, or two-handed handshake? How about a Verbal Love receiving-response? Do you say something like, “That touches my heart”, or do you proclaim, “Yes, you do and I’m super glad you do” or do you whisper “I feel a little thrill of joy hearing that”? What about a Gifting Love receiving-response? “Saying you love me just the way you did, makes me want to give you a massage”. What might be your Affirmational Love receiving-response? “I hear a lot of feeling in the way you said that and reaches me deeply”, or simply, “You’re wonderful”. Consider a Tolerational Love receiving-response. When hearing a perfunctory “I love you”, you might say, “Could I hear that again with a little more oomph?” Think about a Self-Disclosure Love receiving-response. “Secretly, I’ve been longing to hear you say that”.
If we become proficient with our receiving-responses to the seven, major, behavioral ways we directly show love, our love cycling will be strengthened and enhanced.
Using our personal knowledge of a loved one, combined with The Seven Love Behaviors, can lead to custom tailored, love receiving-responses. For example, Delilah was a dolphin aficionado so, in appreciation for each of the special things she did, Raul would get her a card featuring dolphins or a dolphin figurine or a dolphin book, or such. Delilah called it her “I’m Swimming in Love” collection. Personalizing receptional love responses makes them extra special.
To receive a dose of love well, first you have to notice it. Then sharply focus on what just happened. Give it some concentrated attention. When you do that, it naturally flows into the third phase of good reception – soaking it up. If you experience feelings like “I feel loved”, “this hug feels so good”, “an unexpected gift – what a delight” you are reaping the enrichment of love reception . To feel these feelings more intently, it may help to say to yourself “I’m being loved and I’m going to let myself really feel it”, “this is special and I’m going to cherish it” or “I’m not going to let this moment pass, I’m going to experience it deeply”. Lingering and savoring love coming your way can help your sense of appreciation grow. Appreciation is another part of good love reception. Sometimes all this may happen almost instantaneously and sometimes it can be more lengthy. It is our job to really get what is sent, to fully experience it internally.
Externally, our job is to let the sender know we have received their act of love, we like it and we are better because of it. A thank you is a simple, polite response but even better may be showing or telling them about the effect their love message has had on us. Even before making an automatic “I love you too” statement or a quick gratitude response, we might say something more personal and laudatory. This is a splendid way to vitalize love cycling.
As always – Go and Grow with Love
Dr. J. Richard Cookerly
♥ Love Success Question: Do you know that belated thank you’s can be made into better actions of Receptional Love than immediate ones – if you put enough into them? So, who might you surprise with a totally unexpected , special, appreciation message today or tomorrow?